Nov!

Stepped in November already. I have a not-so-good starting :(

And i feel stress just now, for first time after the final passed. Been 3 months and this feeling getting strange for me. I think i start missing this feeling, pressure and tension and want to overcome it! Makes all troubles into experiences and learn from that, this is present from time. Thinking this way give me strength to face every problems (even though mix with fears sometimes).

I miss the old time. And i can't wait to move forward to the future tense. I need a new start!!! Desperately no kidding. No one can understand me now. Been depressed and keep encourage myself and get courage and advises from dearest friends as well... Thanks for that sincerely. Yet i haven't settle all those troubles but i pray, with faith, everything will be fine. Soon hopefully.

Resume and cover letter sent. But no reply YET. Will i get good news within this 2 weeks? After Deepavali perhaps...If not mistaken, Indian celebrates Deepavali for welcoming the brightness after darkness gone. Some sort like that i guess, based on my knowledge. Argh i want to celebrate Deepavali too! I want bright in my life!!! Enough for all these mess I been too patient to wait for nothing and coward to change the situation!!! Aren't me an arrogant and brave Leo girl?! Please lead the situation but not being fool of it...

Sometimes its down when action took, no result gain. Perhaps i have to do more, and more.

I wonder, where's the perfectionism me gone?

Tired and gave up this two words appeared in my mind. But i'm not allowed. I not allowing myself so. The longer the journey to reach our dream, the more we will gain in the end of the road. Starring it aiming it and please never stop your steps.

Pray every nights before i fall asleep. Talking to God just like talking to self...I treat it as a way to release my voice. A reminder for self. Guess it's a good psychotherapy.

Lead. Leading. I want to go somewhere else...not here. I should not belong to here.

P.S: Trip on coming Friday! Cherating beach and Sg.Lembing sunrise and waterfall!!! Here i come...... Hope the sunrise show me direction and the rainbow brings me luck =)

Happy Deepavali all my friends!!! Especially to you Rina, if you reading this...